IUI

so i am supposed to go for my first IUI in a week (a little delayed as my period started a few days late) which a i had been all excited about however after browsing the web today ive learned that its not as succesful as the doctors told me it was. so what now i go through that for a few months then the doctors told me there isnt much else they can do for me. I am so tired, tired of always hoping and hurting and waiting, why cant i just give up already! people keep saying dont give up God has a plan.. ya well what if that plan isnt for me to have a baby? what if he is up there telling me to stop hurting myself and move on? I always try to hide my feelings from others i dont want them to know how sad and angry i always am.. how i just want ot crawl into a cave and sulk often. sadly sometimes they find out, not as often now, as im getting better at masking it. i just dont know what to do or think any more... some answers or even hints from above would be nice, but i have a fear that they are being givin to me but ive hardened my heart over the years anf just am not hearing them. oh boy