updates

I had my first IUI done a few days ago we opted not to do the seconed day also this month however due to the cost which we werent prepared for( a few more hundred then we were thinking) but you never know, they said that it rarely takes on the first try. I wish things could be more simple. I always heard that invitro was anywhere from 10 to 20 thousand but hearing the doctor confirm it was still a kick in the butt. we were discussing it in case the IUIs dont work out, but the doctor still doeasnt think its for us.
Why does it always seem that good things come to those who dont deserve it. Not saying that im always the most deserving and I do know that I am very blessed with everything i have now, but its still hard sometimes. At the moment i am waching my boys(2 of my dogs) playing oh so sweetly next to me and it is one of the cutest things i have seen, and i ask myself why cant i just be happy with what i have now. ugh...
My dieting and exercising have been slacking already I lasted about a week of doing it all well and then flopped.
hmm... i guess not much else right now

IUI

so i am supposed to go for my first IUI in a week (a little delayed as my period started a few days late) which a i had been all excited about however after browsing the web today ive learned that its not as succesful as the doctors told me it was. so what now i go through that for a few months then the doctors told me there isnt much else they can do for me. I am so tired, tired of always hoping and hurting and waiting, why cant i just give up already! people keep saying dont give up God has a plan.. ya well what if that plan isnt for me to have a baby? what if he is up there telling me to stop hurting myself and move on? I always try to hide my feelings from others i dont want them to know how sad and angry i always am.. how i just want ot crawl into a cave and sulk often. sadly sometimes they find out, not as often now, as im getting better at masking it. i just dont know what to do or think any more... some answers or even hints from above would be nice, but i have a fear that they are being givin to me but ive hardened my heart over the years anf just am not hearing them. oh boy

updates and ranting

well it has been much longer than i though since ive last posted. hmm someones been lazy... well what is new?: my epicure party went well i sold $968 before tax, so that is $96 dollars of free stuff for me woo hoo. it was nicer however to get to see family and friends some of which i hadnt seen in a while. My vow to myself that id start working out again has been slacking, i only do a little here and there, ya i guess its better than nothing but i deffinately need more! ugh... My baby(the puppy) is growing, thankfully not too much or too fast lol, the vet said hes a runt and always will be so he will only be approx 40 pounds which is ok with me. my little girl (the chihuahua) is still sick we are still fighting it but i dont want to make her feel worse or always be at the vet. and the big boy(my big dog) is good like always.
so for a rant its just that my stupid sister in law and her hubby are tryingh to move now (which is needed as they live in a 500 sq foot house with a 4th child on the way) but somehow theyve managed to find that one awsome deal, its a 3000 sq foot house for $289 000, which is a lot but great for that house. now the only foolish thing is that they have trouble every month finding the money to cover their $139 000 mortgage, how do they plan on paying over double... also now the cow (terrible sister in law) is talking about when she will have their next child! she still refuses to get a job, which is a little understandable at the moment being pregnant and all but come on.. once the nnewest is off the boob you should be able to find something part time oh ya i forgot you still havent sent any of them to school! dumb lady! ughh ok ok enough

have a good day all

updates

so my epicure party is tomorrow I am so excited as well as a little nervous its been a long time since Ive entertained a party this large (approx 30 people) I am also thinking to have my neighbour puppy sit while it is happening, otherwise the puppy will be into everything he can and bugging everyone else lol.
I go back to the lab in a few days, this will be my last month of monitoring and drugs and tests if I can force them to speed things along. which means next month we will try our first IUI, I am a little nervous about this but the doctors assure me its not too painful or awkward. I will still have to do all the monitoring and testing but at least there will be the extra push to try to help us get pregnant. it gets so hard some days although I am getting better at staying positive and letting things go more often, but I find it very hard to even hear about my terrible sister in law and her latest pregnancy which can make things a little awkard between the family. ugh ... it will all work out for the best in the end... right?

Dog Parks and Parties

I got to take my puppy to the dog park today and he absolutely loved it! he was havin a blast! I originally took both boys to the park however my big boy doesnt know how to socialize well, he gets so over excited and wants to be dominant at times that he can be mean sometimes. its so sad because i know i did that by not getting him out enough when he was a puppy and being too nervous now to try. The little boy did great though which i am super excited about, and I am goin to get the big boy into classes so he can learn to socialize then one day they will be able to go together. the little girl isnt feeling well enough to go out and romp so she stayed home and relaxed.
On another note, my Epicure party is this Saturday I am so excited to finally be entertaining again, and hopefully i may be able to score some free stuff outta this party lol. Sadly I found out that there were a couple other parties not long ago so some of the people I was counting on to buy stuff dont need anything. oh well it will still be fun, I have some family comeing that i havent seen in a few months so that will be really nice.
ok have a good day everyone

Dentist

for the last few days ive been so busy working and cleaning and going through stuff to get rid of, that i havent had time to blog on here. plus nothing really exciting happening either. I went to the dentist today, which normally i dont mind(Idont fear the dentist lol) however today he was pretty annoying trying to convince me to do so many expensive things. I had 2 cavities that needed to be filled thats why i was there but also to check out a tooth that approx 8 months ago broke in half and he told me to save. well sure enough it broke again, I suggested just pulling it to save time and money but nooo he wants me to fix it again (òh itll only come to $2000!) yikes so i told him id think about it. well then he starts going on that i have 2 wisdom teeth still ya well they have been there for about 10 years and havent givin me trouble. well he wants to pull them and oh thats only another $2000, then he want to whiten my teeth a little he says working in a public place like i do, it would be nice well thats only a few hundred. Yeesh what does he think Im made of, its deffinately not cash!

foam curlers

.so you remember back in the days tose old school foam curlers? you know, the ones your mother or grandmother would put in your hair the night before a scool picture. after you got out of the shower the would sit you down and begin the lengthy and painful proccess of placing tons of little foam rollers in your hair so close to your scalp it would pinch or pull. lol well ya those ones last night while cleaning out my office i found a bag of them, so what did i do lol? I decided i would curl my hair of course! well i didnt put in as many as my mom would have and i didnt roll them as tight, hoping that they would be kinda loose curls, well right before my hubby got home i started pulling them out sure that they would all be dry, but sadly no there were about 4 that were still damp so i had a bunch of curls with random damp wavy spots. lol oh well i fluffed it all up put it into a cute pony and away we went to dinner. it was still fun to roll my hair using them it reminds you of the old days.
have a good day all